Hello

Well this is my first post. How many women do you know who are trying to raise a step child where the mother is only available sometimes on her phone? I have had the pleasure of raising Tilly since she was four. I am married to her father. Her mother is a drug addict and not available most of the time. Her mother has visitation, which she never uses and has not used since Tilly was six years old. Tilly is now fifteen and acting out. Tilly ran away from home last week and we involved the police in order to find her and get her back. Tilly says it was no big deal. She ran away because one of her teachers emailed me to let me know she wasn't doing her homework and that she had failed a test because of it. Her mother, who I will call Alias, helped a WHOLE bunch by telling Tilly when she called that "Of course you can come live with me". She then called my husband and told him "She can come to visit, but she can never live here. With her attitude she would be beat up within a week by the neighbors." Of course Tilly believes what her mother told her. In spite of the fact that Alias has lied repeatedly to Tilly, Tilly still believes her. And it is ALL my fault because I am trying to replace her mother and she doesn't need a replacement. At least my husband pointed out that "Yes I was trying to replace her mother because her mother was never around and without me she wouldn't have ANY mother."
Tilly is unconvinced. She has come up with a way to "help her get to her mom". She has been going around and telling everyone that we are physically abusing her. Of course there are no bruises because it is a lie. She follows it up with "And I want to go live with my biological mother". Even the policeperson that retrieved her asked me what was up. Once I told him that I thought it was a ploy to get to live with her mother, he knew she was lying. She had told him the same thing. I explained to him that even if she was to convince people that we were abusing her, she would never be allowed to live with her mother because Alias is a well documented drug addict and no judge in his right mind would allow her to be in harm's way. Tilly is still unconvinced. The school people say she has been telling them the same thing. It is interesting to the vice principal that she never refers to Alias in any way other than "my biological mother". I don't know if that means anything or not. She has taken to calling me by my first name in the past three days, instead of "Mama" which she has called me since her father and I became engaged.

I guess I started this blog to take out my frustration with this experience, because it wouldn't be conducive to tell Tilly that Alias is a lair, has always been a liar, and that actions speak larger than words. This will also help me keep a post of when things are happening, so that if we end up in court (the school people say we will) then I have a record.

Any thoughts?